When Everything Sucks, There’s Always the Library
My life has mostly been stable and functional; computer, internet, transportation, personal space, discretionary funds. Mostly. At my own personal rock bottom, my access to these things was a bit… complicated.
Through all that, by happenstance, I wound up finding a magical place of my childhood: the library. It’s a wonderful equalizer. Most libraries offer internet access, solitude, and the opportunity to discover books and subjects and ideas. Many libraries offer classes, and they rent out other media, too. If you know what you want and it isn’t there, you can put in a request and it’s likely that you will have your hands on it soon enough – no discretionary funds required.
While I can’t say that you need not suffer, I would like to put forward that you need not suffer in ignorance. My local library was a 3-mile walk; yours may be better or worse. Maybe you have to take the bus; maybe you can catch a ride.
If nothing else, at the least, you can exist in a place where no one is allowed to bother you. Quiet is the expectation. You are an independent agent: you can walk the aisles and only stop when you find something that interests you. It doesn’t have to be important. But maybe it will be.